Monday, April 14, 2025

Worst Date Ever

It was back around 2017 when I met Paul. To get the whole idea I need to fully explain paul as a dude, he was kind of odd but cute in that way idk. So I had frequented this coffee shop by my parents apartment right after highschool. 

It was run by this nice chinese couple who had been there since like the 60s so it was all homey and comfortable. Then this new guy started working there. This guy became one of my closest friends. 

His name was Jimmy (not his real name for obvious reasons), Jimmy was a thin gay chinese kid in his early 20s. We used to talk a lot. We had a shared hobby in hannah montana as kids which sparked one of the closest friendships of my life. 

Which leads us to Paul, and paul remember was an odd duck but jimmy had kind of hyped him up the whole time I met him so I had looked to see past the now obvious weirdness of him. Paul was a classmate of Jimmy down at the university. I had met Paul hanging around Jimmy's circle of friends, he was the straight guy in a gaggle of queer kids. 

The first time I talked with Paul was funny enough due to a horrible tragedy. So we met up behind the colledge to talk and hang out after classes ended and I first met Paul among Jimmy's friends. I swear to god that Paul walked up to shake my hand like a businessman. 

He tripped and fell down a hill and broke his legs. It was like a comedy bit just WOSH down he went and we had to call the ambulance and everything. The group of us met up with him at the hospital a couple days later and that’s how we hit it off. 

Me and Paul had been kinda “dating” for a week, just the two of us hanging out. But we didn't call it anything he was kinda shy or i guess social awkward would be a better word for it. I don’t know we kissed a couple times but he didn't really reciprocate affection well I never fucked him or anything too shy. 

He was mostly fun to hang out with like a really swell guy. But you know… we all read the news, you’ve seen the autopsy. I was there with him when it happened. 

It was and still kinda is a nightmare for me, like it's always in the back of my head when I go to the bathroom. Like I'm going to walk out and something equally as bad is gonna happen. It's like a superstition. 

But whatever, I feel kinda weird about the whole thing but I can talk about it. So Paul was a thing guy, kinda mixed looking paler brown skin, a kinda wispy mustache and long hair. He looked and acted like a 80s punk became a middle aged dad, kinda authoritative, jovial and caring but punkish I guess. 

As well as funny he loved to laugh, and when he did it was kind of a hehehe way that old guys laugh, it was great. So to set up this whole deal, me and paul had gone to a starbucks while just walking around the city, kinda like “a sunday stroll”. We had been doing that for a while. 

I ordered a frappuccino and I don’t remember Paul's order but I had to go to the bathroom. So I'm in the bathroom, you know powdering my nose and such and then I hear a sort of guttural laugh from inside the main area of the store. I’m like ok weird I didn't think about it that much, but when I finished up I swear to god, I saw paul laughing like he does then pop nothing. 

He’s just sitting there blank faced, a kind of tired looking off into the distance. Everyone in the Starbucks is now looking at him, glances and stares at this. Then he starts decomposing, like I'm sure you heard it on CNN or whatever made it national headlines. 

“YOUNG MAN RAPIDLY DECOMPOSES AT STARBUCKS” that kind of shit it was awful. I was interviewed by reporters for weeks until no one cared. Ok so he first opens his mouth or his mouth hangs open and then all of his teeth begin to fall out. 

I'm standing there wide eyed watching my closest friend just rot rapidly. Then his hair begins to like “wriggle” out of his body, I’m talking like the hair follicles fall out but some where fucking stuck deep inside his body. As this is happening everyone in the starbucks is screaming a good portion run out. 

The baristas and staff are just looking on in horror, a couple people pull out their phones and record but it’s just an overall horror movie. I’m screaming at this point just stuck there with fear, fight or flight I guess gave me fight but it didn't budge. Paul’s body begins to rapidly shake now rocking back and forth screaming like a car engine inhuman shit mechanical stuff. 

His eyes fall out, but there’s no viscera like glass eyes just POP right out. He loses all rigidness in his body and falls flat on the table and begins to slowly decompose like melt decompose. Almost exactly like that video of a fox, it fucks with my mind thinking back on it but it was exactly like a timelapse. 

Just rapidly moving and melting the noises also sounded faster. At this point he is a pool of pink, black, white and green moldy gore no blood. That is the worst part it still fucks with my head so bad, christ no blood nothing. 

No liquids at all just like his meat turned sour and fell off. No bones either, he just started falling apart like he had no insides at all. I shot out of the starbucks after that, I didn't look back I just ran all the way home. 

Adrenaline or something and when I got home I just started crying, thinking back it was a mix of fear and loss for my friend. But GOD it was the scariest shit i’ve ever felt like ever. You know that kind of sensation soldiers get when they get their first kill, that kind of cold pit feeling. 

Makes you throw up it was like that but with fear, like holy fuck he might be infectious that might happen to me christ! Just animalistic jitters I guess still real. Yeah after that the cops came to my apartment and questioned me, brought me to the station nothing came out of that. The news picked it up and they bugged me and mom for a while. 

Then just nothing, me and Jimmy stopped talking. I was alone with my thoughts for a while, and did cheapo therapy locally for a while. I don’t really know how I feel now, kinda disconnected like something of me is still there in that moment. 

But the fear is gone but also the sadness I guess I’m just lost now still getting flashes sometimes random things make me remember.

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